The Bayeux Zoom Session

It amused to make this.  Any reference to a recent viral Zoom video is intentional.  You can make your own here.

Keeping Calm On The Battlefield

 

 

It's Monday, you need some humour.

 

I find this funny in part because it captures a moment in the Wilderness where Grant basically said the same thing to his staff, but also because it comes from one of my favourite military bloggers, the Angry Staff Officer.  I've featured his Star Wars based humour here before.

 

You can find ASO's unofficial life of US Grant here, and here is his take on famous military quotations rephrased for contemporary army life.  Hilarious.

Cheers,

MP+

Looney Times

 It’s been a quiet week at the Mad Padre’s Painting Chapel since my last post.   I’ve been painting in my spare time, and every time I look up at the news, I get depressed.  

Our Canadian dollar, fondly known as “the looney”, is not doing too well of late.  A few years back, when oil was more expensive than liquid gold, life was good.  The Canuck buck was trading at over a dollar US.  Life was good.  Nobody here seemed to mind that our country had all the economic diversity of Saudi Arabia.    I bought a lot of hobby stuff from US and European manufacturers.

Now that oil is trading at somewhere around $30 a barrel (though the price of a tank of gas still hurts - why is that?), our poor looney is falling like, well, like this guy.  We just fell below .70 cents US on the dollar and some economists are saying that we could go as low as .50 cents US.  

I’m looking ahead at 2016 and thinking that it’s going to be a tough year for hobby purchases.  I could only buy from Canadian manufacturers, but there aren’t that many of them, frankly, and at least one of the good ones charges in US dollars. There were also a few new games I was looking at as well (GMT’s Churchill, I’m looking at you) but the local game store guy told me he couldn’t get it in for less than $110.  

Thinking about this stuff is less depressing than thinking about what the stock market’s doing to my retirement savings.

I don’t know about you but I need some cheering up.   A US Army blogger I follow was saying that his desk is where majors come to talk about Star Wars, but perhaps that was because he keeps a toy light sabre there.  One of the things I like about this guy’s blog is that he transposes contemporary army life onto Star Wars situations.

For example, pity the life of a hard working, unappreciated Imperial staff officer.  Consider the burdens of a humble logistics officer, trying to keep the Rebel Alliance supplied.   Imagine what it’s like to be a Stormtrooper sergeant, debriefing the troops after yet another disastrous mission.

It’s good stuff, enjoy it.  Hopefully this weekend I’ll have a finished project to show you.

MP+

 

They Need Better Toys

I really should be writing my MA thesis but I’ve been at it since 05:30 this morning and I need a break, so here are some Flickr photos that an army friend of mind told me about.

These are photos from a CAF image tech (we used to call them photographers) of EX SENECA RAM, a”validation exercise for the 1 CMBG (Canadian Mechanized Brigade Group) HQ command team and staff”,  In other words a Tactical Exercise Without Troops (TEWT), or what we in the hobby call a war-game.  This EX lasted from Jan 28 to Feb 6, so it was a lot of stress and suck for young officers under the gimlet eyes of the Brigadier and his deputies, but at least better than freezing in the field.

The keen-eyed among you will notice that the captain on the far right and the perplexed subaltern standing in the left centre are wearing the British-style officer’s rank badges on their slip ons, just like their grandfathers did, which apparently helps morale by building tradition.  Actually, I think it just confuses a whole generation, like moving from Imperial to Metric, but anyway.

The other observation, which I’m sure you’ve all made ahead of me, is that these fellows really need better toys.  I am proposing that war gamers adopt a Canadian Army unit or HQ and provide them with appropriate kit (and maybe trainers) to make these events more interesting.

 

Even with the Revolution in Military Affairs, a staff officer needs a big stick.

 

Worst. Table.  Ever.

Ten Most Useless GI Joe Characters

Colonel Courage may have been the only GI Joe action figure to wear a necktie, but don’t let that fool you; “he’s not just a pencil pusher, he also relishes the frenzy that any fight brings." 
Eurpean readers may not be familiar with the GI Joe action figures, but if you grew up in North America in the Reagan late Cold-War era, there was GI Joe, a comic/tv cartoon/toy line that produced some truly awful crap.  GI Joe employed a legion of eccentrically named and costumed soldiers to defend America from a terrorist organization, COBRA, that seemed to have deeper pockets than any Bond movie super villain ever enjoyed.  The beauty of the GI Joe world was that because it was children’s television, no one ever died, even though planes, tanks, and ships frequently exploded.  Villains were always knocked cold with an old fashioned punch to the jaw.
If you are looking for a Monday laugh, I recommend this list of the Ten Mose Useless GI Joe characters.  I am hoping for a Kickstarter to fund a set of miniatures based on these guys. And, if that’s not enough funny for one day, here’s what happens when a GI Joe nickname goes horribly wrong.

"Zee RAF Bimmers Are Farting For Freedom"

I know there are very serious events and ceremonies happening in Normandy as I write this.  

However, in a less serious note, this image got me wondering, is it too much to hope that somewhere in Normandy, among the throngs of reenactors seen in these fab photos, are some who are recreating the liberation scene from Allo! Allo!?  We can only hope.

How To Find Those Annoying Snipers

This image from the daily UK MOD news feed was too good to pass up.  The caption reads “Shetland pony Cruachan IV, regimental mascot of the Royal Regiment of Scotland, taking a liking to a sniper’s ghillie suit”.

 

From a recent Territorial Army recruiting day in Glasgow.

 

 

Concerns About Sauron's Battle Plans

Hoping this gives you a chuckle.  It certainly makes me want to dust off my GW LOTR collection once I get my last term paper in today.

German Weapon Memes

This and a bunch of other photos made me smile today.

A New Concept in Wargaming - Edible Minis

My son and I did some preliminary research and here`s an executive summary of our groundbreaking idea on edibile minis gaming.

1) Buy some gummy green army men at the local store (here in Canada we found them in the candy section of a store called Bulk Barn).




2) Fight a battle using whatever rules set you like - we used our house rules, Two Minute Wargames, because we were hungry.



3) Eat the gummy army men.



Advantages:

1) no painting or basing required
2) easy storage (a plastic bag before, your tummy afterwards
3) green gummy army men are appropriate for most periods from 1940 on

Disadvantages:

1) Limited variety and flavours of green gummy army men available
2) Opponent is tempted to eat your troops while your not looking
3) Scale and accuracy of the minis is a bit dodgy

Enjoy this brilliant idea, thanks to my son John and I!

MP